Man, so much shit has been happening that I've been meaning to write about. Before I can resolve the thought something new comes along that demands my attention. My suspected undiagnosed ADD doesn't help. Probably.
There is something about the nature of reality that keeps me from getting to where I want to be. Its that this quality has been on the tip of my tongue for about seven years now. Some times when I am dreaming I understand it. Or rather I am part of it and there is no need to understand it. But I can never bring it back through. So much of what I try to create stems from this place. Just like how its hard to continue a conversation when you can't remember the name of that one actor, its hard for me to live in reality when I can't remember this one thing about it.
There are other things, peculiarities. There is an image I can picture in my mind's eye. I don't know what it is, it is kind of a shape, but it can be many different shapes and still be specifically that same one shape. When I am able to hone in on it I notice everything fits into it. Past memories, the birthmark on my knee, whatever it is I am looking at, even this right now. It has all of the colors, but it is also only orange and blue. It has familiar qualities, but I don't understand what it is at all. Like experiencing some future technology. What it would be like for an ancient Sumerian to experience an iPhone.
Still, there are other things like how we treat each other, and how we treat what exists around us. I can feel that they are related. Its hard to create when everything I make falls miles short of expressing this thing that feels so important, that feels like it will direct us to be better to each other and this amazing reality that is impossible not to experience. But that feels so idealistic and hoaky, and I know we all know that we could be running shit a million times better than we are
There is something about the nature of reality that keeps me from getting to where I want to be. Its that this quality has been on the tip of my tongue for about seven years now. Some times when I am dreaming I understand it. Or rather I am part of it and there is no need to understand it. But I can never bring it back through. So much of what I try to create stems from this place. Just like how its hard to continue a conversation when you can't remember the name of that one actor, its hard for me to live in reality when I can't remember this one thing about it.
There are other things, peculiarities. There is an image I can picture in my mind's eye. I don't know what it is, it is kind of a shape, but it can be many different shapes and still be specifically that same one shape. When I am able to hone in on it I notice everything fits into it. Past memories, the birthmark on my knee, whatever it is I am looking at, even this right now. It has all of the colors, but it is also only orange and blue. It has familiar qualities, but I don't understand what it is at all. Like experiencing some future technology. What it would be like for an ancient Sumerian to experience an iPhone.
Still, there are other things like how we treat each other, and how we treat what exists around us. I can feel that they are related. Its hard to create when everything I make falls miles short of expressing this thing that feels so important, that feels like it will direct us to be better to each other and this amazing reality that is impossible not to experience. But that feels so idealistic and hoaky, and I know we all know that we could be running shit a million times better than we are
No comments:
Post a Comment